


You never left my mind

by HopeSilverheart



Series: Loving Em at 2AM [33]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: (Sexual tension although they'll both deny it), Alternate Universe - Criminals, Angst, Banter, Blackmail, Crimes & Criminals, Criminal Aline, Enemies to Lovers, Exes, F/F, Girls in Love, Guns, Journalist Helen, Love/Hate, Organized Crime, Post-Break Up, Pre-Slash, Tension, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeSilverheart/pseuds/HopeSilverheart
Summary: “I wonder what your colleagues would think if they found out you brought a gun to work. Hell, I wonder what they would think if you published that story only for me to release some damning information about our relationship.”“You would never do that.”To anyone else, Helen would have sounded certain, but Aline knew the blonde better than that. She heard the slight waver in Helen’s voice, the way her blue eyes turned fearful and soft before they took on their usual diamond-sharp stare again. Helen wasn’t afraid of a lot, but she was definitely afraid of what Aline could do to her career.Or: Aline and Helen are determined to hurt each other (no matter how much they still love each other)
Relationships: Helen Blackthorn/Aline Penhallow
Series: Loving Em at 2AM [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764400
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	You never left my mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatnerdemryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/gifts).



Aline was the first one to recognise the woman.

She was facing away from them and hadn’t seen them yet, but Aline could spot that glossy blond hair from over a mile away. She knew in a few seconds, the woman would turn around and reveal entrancing eyes, delicate fairy-like features, as well as a stunning smile that would charm everyone.

Everyone but Aline. Helen Blackthorn hadn’t been able to charm her in over a year and a half, and that wasn’t about to change now. Clary and Isabelle, however, had never met the fascinating woman, and Aline didn’t want to risk anything.

“You guys need to go,” she murmured under her breath, tensing when Helen started turning around. “Right now. There’s a journalist around and she knows more than most people do; Clary really shouldn’t be here, not if you want to keep her safe.”

For all that she was sometimes an arrogant woman who didn’t listen to her brother’s instructions, Isabelle was also the kind to protect the people she loved. She and Lydia had only been dating Clary for a few weeks and the last thing they needed was a journalist getting in the way of their relationship. Especially a journalist like Helen who would stop at nothing to uncover the truth.

Clary and Isabelle disappeared around the corner just as Helen turned around and noticed Aline standing there alone. A wicked grin twitched at the corner of her lips and Aline grit her teeth angrily, refusing to show Helen how much she still affected the criminal. The journalist was nothing to her, nothing at all, just a nuisance who refused to leave her life.

“Well if isn’t my favourite murderer,” the blonde woman simpered, prowling closer to Aline. The brunette took a step back as she crossed her arms; a clear sign that she didn’t want Helen near her. The blond raised her hands in surrender and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Still mad at me for what I managed to dig up on you, Aline? You should be glad, really. The sooner I cover that story about you, the sooner I’ll be out of your life. Isn’t that what you want?”

“Oh absolutely,” Aline smiled dangerously, her fingers settling on the hilt of her gun. She knew Helen had noticed the small movement, saw the way the blonde’s eyes widened minutely before her hand patted her thigh in a seemingly unassuming way. Aline cursed under her breath. “However, your story will probably also end with me in jail, so forgive me for not being particularly excited about it. Thankfully, solid proof is _very_ hard to come by, especially when your target has plenty of blackmail material to bribe you with.”

“You have nothing on me and we both know it, Aline,” Helen scoffed. “I erased my past existence completely. There’s nothing left in Alec’s office, nothing in yours, and I even got rid of all the weapons I ever used.”

“Except the one you’ve got on you right now,” Aline pointed out, her gaze flickering to Helen’s leg before meeting the blonde’s cold eyes again. “I wonder what your colleagues would think if they found out you brought a gun to work. Hell, I wonder what they would think if you published that story only for me to release some damning information about our relationship.”

“You would never do that.”

To anyone else, Helen would have sounded certain, but Aline knew the blonde better than that. She heard the slight waver in Helen’s voice, the way her blue eyes turned fearful and soft before they took on their usual diamond-sharp stare again. Helen wasn’t afraid of a lot, but she was definitely afraid of what Aline could do to her career.

At least the terror was mutual, Aline thought. Helen was determined to bring Aline’s secret life into the limelight, but she knew the brunette would drag her along. The game they played was a fascinating and dangerous one. It was a game of subterfuge and carefully concocted plans, of evidence destruction and cautious evasions. It was a game that never ended, at least not on Helen’s end.

The blonde was still looking for the pictures Aline had kept of them. She was still trying to find out where Aline had hidden them so she could get rid of them and burn them or something. Too bad Aline wasn’t going to let her do that. Those pictures were too sentimentally valuable to be reduced to ashes. They were the only reminder Aline had of what Helen and she had once been.

They were the only thing that proved she had been loved, once upon a time. The only images in which Helen wasn’t a cruel journalist hellbent on destroying her life. The only thing left of a much easier time, when words weren’t thrown around to tear at her heart and pieces of her life weren’t picked apart until she was nothing but dust.

Helen had been a ruthless criminal, but she was an even crueller reporter. She didn’t leave anything out; she dug and dug until she had every little scrap of information that could be used against someone. As soon as she had told Aline that she was investigating her, the brunette had known she was screwed. So she had kept the pictures, not only as a loving keepsake but as a way to manipulate the woman who wanted to ruin her.

They were the only thing keeping her and her family safe, and she wasn’t going to throw them away so easily. She wasn’t going to give Helen the satisfaction of putting her ex-partner behind bars.

“There you go again,” Aline said softly. “Assuming you know everything about me. That may have been true in the past, but we haven’t been together for a long time, Helen. I’m not the woman I used to be, just like you’re not the woman you were before.”

“Thankfully,” Helen all but spat, her features turning icy. “The life you lead is no life at all, Aline, and I wish you’d realise that already. There’s so much out there you could be doing, so much _good_ , but you’re still stuck in your old ways. Sometimes I wonder if you even know how much evil you spread in this world.”

“Oh, I know,” Aline chuckled lowly, taking a step closer to Helen when a passer-by lingered too close to them for her comfort. Talking about such delicate things in the middle of the street wasn’t the smartest thing to do but, when it came to Helen, Aline rarely had a choice. “I know exactly how evil I am, Helen. The question is, why do you think you’re so much better than I am? Yes, I murder people and take their lives away from them, but some would say you do the same thing. The only difference is that you keep them alive to watch them suffer through ruin and misery.”

“It’s what they deserve,” Helen curled her lip. “Criminals and frauds deserve everything that’s coming for them, you included.”

“And you?”

Silence descended upon them as Helen clenched her fists tightly and looked away from Aline. Guilt and disgust fought for control over the blonde’s features, and Aline was morbidly curious to see which would win. Helen had always been a good person deep down, but she had also done quite a few things she wasn’t proud of. Once upon a time, she hadn’t cared about murder and death and blood, and Aline had loved that about her.

Now, the brunette couldn’t help but admire her ex-lover’s determination to change and become a better woman, no matter how delusional Helen was. Criminals didn’t change overnight, especially not ones like Helen Blackthorn, renowned killer within the Lightwood family business. She had been one of their best assets, the twin to Aline’s shadow, all speed and grace and deadliness.

Too bad she had decided to leave.

“Hard question to answer, isn’t it?” Aline added when Helen failed to say anything. “Because you’re not a criminal, but you’re also far from a model citizen. No matter how hard you tried to erase your past, it’s still a part of you and you _know it_. I’d admire you for your strength, Helen, if it weren’t so pathetic to watch. You’re tearing yourself apart from the inside and eventually, the darkness will win. It always does, as you very well know.”

“Don’t project your issues onto me, Aline,” Helen hissed. “I got rid of that darkness long ago, and the only thing I’m tearing apart is my hair from sheer frustration. I can’t wait for the day when I finally catch you. You’ll slip up, Aline. You did it once in the past, and you’ll do it again.”

“Arrogance doesn’t become you,” Aline sighed, her lips twisted into a smug smile. “It was always more my thing, don’t you think? Besides, you’re not the only one who can learn from her mistakes. Slip-ups only happen once, Helen, you know that. My colleagues would never let me go down, annoying reporter or not. If you touch a hair off my head, you’ll be dead in less than a second.”

“Is that a threat?” Helen raised her eyebrows, huffing amusedly. “You’d never let anyone hurt me, Aline. Because even after everything, we both know I’m still your light. I’m still the only person in the world you would take a bullet for, the only person you would never kill.”

“And there you go again with the cockiness,” Aline shook her head even as her insides clenched uncomfortably. The blonde had a point, but she refused to let her know that. She had buried her feelings away long ago, and she wasn’t going to reveal them any time soon. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I would never hurt you. But Alec and Lydia? Oh, Helen, I think you underestimate how much they care about me. I’m basically family, at this point.”

“There’s no such thing as family in your business,” Helen sneered.

The worst part was that she truly believed what she was saying. She had thrown the exact same words in Aline’s face that night, when she had left their world behind to start a new life. Even back then, she hadn’t believed that criminals could truly love anyone other than themselves.

Her accusations still rang loud and clear inside Aline’s mind, no matter how much she tried to ignore them. Helen didn’t believe in criminal family, and it would someday be her downfall. Aline would kill for Alec and Lydia without batting an eyelash, and she knew they would do the same for her. They would murder the entire population of New York to get revenge on anyone who hurt someone they saw as a cousin, as a _sister_.

Unfortunately, Helen would never understand that.

“Keep telling yourself that, Helen,” Aline murmured, backing away from the blonde. They had talked for long enough as it was. “We both know you won’t do anything yet, not as long as those pictures still exist. Besides, you’re the one missing out on something, not me. I promise you my family is a lot more tangible than yours, even if none of us are biologically related.”

It was a low blow, but Aline really needed this conversation to be over. There was no better way to shut Helen up than to talk about her disastrous family that had been falling apart at the seems ever since her father had passed away. And indeed, this time was no different. The blonde’s face shut off and she turned around, her knuckles almost white from how hard her fists were clenched.

Aline took a second to feel bad and mentally ask for forgiveness before plastering a fake smirk onto her lips. Even after a year and a half of insults and aggressivity, she couldn’t hurt Helen without feeling awful about it. It was a terrible weakness to have, but she had never been able to get rid of it and she doubted she ever would.

Helen had been her first love, and there was a high chance she would be her last.

“Leave, Aline,” Helen whispered, still not looking at the brunette. “Or do you really want to stay around to cause even more damage?”

“We’re in the middle of the street, Helen,” Aline rolled her eyes, ignoring the blonde’s question. She really didn’t want to get into another argument, which was the only thing that ever happened when the journalist was around. “If you want to leave, be my guest. I, on the other hand, actually had business to attend to right here, so I’m afraid I’ll be staying.”

She pointed towards the weapons shop disguised as a café, smirking at Helen when the woman grit her teeth and stalked away. The blonde knew exactly what kind of business this place was, but she also knew there was no way for her to get in or reveal its existence without making her past common knowledge.

That was the problem with being an ex-criminal; you got all the disadvantages of having relationships with the darker half of the world, but none of the perks. Helen was all alone, and Aline didn’t envy her that existence. Too bad for Helen, her life wasn’t any of Aline’s business anymore.

Maybe she should have thought about that before breaking Aline’s heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! Thank you so much for reading! As always, no editing or beta'ing so forgive any mistakes I might have made. The Crime Universe has really turned into something quite big, and Em and I thought it could use some Heline, so here they are! Their story is Lovers to Enemies to Lovers and I will be posting their backstory and how they broke up soon (tomorrow or the day after, hopefully). In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this banter-heavy lightly angsty one-shot!
> 
> Love, Junie. 
> 
> (find me on tumblr @hopesilverheart)


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